Archive for the ‘Ask a Drunk’ Category

So Elizabeerbitch wants to know what she and her friends can use for makeshift shotglasses if they don’t have any.

This is a great question because I just had this issue come up recently and we had a fairly creative solution. If you are fortunate enough to be near a fridge you can grab the egg carton from the fridge (nearly everyones fridge has an egg carton in it)  and cut the individual egg holders out. This isn’t exactly your average shot size, but it is close and everyone will get roughly the same amount in each of their shots. Don’t forget to take the eggs that were in the carton and put them in a bowl or something to place back in the fridge so they don’t go to waste.

If you are reading this after a night of absolute debauchery, then good for you. Not that I condone senseless, beer guzzling, OMG-I-Can’t-Believe-I-Did-That-With-Steve nights, but hey, that will make me a hypocrite.

I’m here to introduce myself as another person with a passion for all things related to beer and it’s hot cousin, liquor. What you can expect from me is to stick around and provide the inebriated readers with loads of juicy tidbits on the latest and greatest beers, beers to buy when you’re on a hotdog and ramen noodles budget, which bars, especially ones in Orlando, FL (where I reside) that have the best specials and so on and so forth. I will even post my most embarrassing and unforgettable (well I forgot, but my friends didn’t) stories of nights that I can’t make up even if I tried.

A reader asked: What are some good practical jokes that can be played on your friends while drinking?

Practical jokes? Don’t you think we should be a little more mature than that?

Me either.

Drunks are an easy target for tomfoolery. When you have a lot of people drinking together, pranks and practial jokes are bound to happen. Particularly toward the end of the night when the marathon drinkers start getting bored and the lightweights are passing out.

There’s always the magic-marker prank. Dude drinks too much, dude passes out, dude wakes up with a penis drawn on his face. The key is to get creative with that marker. Think classy, not childish. Genitalia’s funny, but it’s been done.

At college keg parties, we used to wait until the end of the night when the keg was kicked. Whichever roommate fell asleep first had the empty keg delivered to their bed, which was often sticky and smelly with cheap beer residue.

Yes, it seems the majority of drunk pranking is perpetrated on sleeping people. Aside from magic marker and empty kegs, a popular stunt is balancing as many items on the mark’s head as possible without tipping it over. Sort of a makeshift version of Jenga using a human as the base. If they wake up while you’re placing your object, you lose! The objective is to balance the largest object as high as possible.

A visitor asked us:  “How do I get my beer-mooching friend to pay some of the bar tab?”

We have a beer mooching situation on our hands and it needs to be addressed. One of the biggest concerns here seems to be “feelings.” We don’t want to hurt our friend’s feelings. Well, my mooched friends, you should be crying yourselves to sleep at night because beer mooching is not cool.

Don’t get me wrong, everyone deserves a good mooch sometimes; but some friends reach their mooch quota quick and action must be taken. Never picking up the bar tab is like drinking directly from your friend’s pitcher of life.

Beerlover asked, ” Did you see this article by Malcolm Gluck? He calls beer drinkers a bunch of losers!”

I did in fact read the article and for those who did not, Malcom Gluck in a post on guardian.co.uk had this to say, “Well, beer is only drunk by losers and sadsacks, unsexy people who care nothing for their minds or their bodies.”

Tekno wrote in and wanted to know:

“what’s a good way to disperse of a strong hang-over?”

This is a question that people have been asking since alcohol was first invented, and the truth is this question has many answers because for each person it can be different.