Drinking Stories - BeerGoggleHell.com » Worshiping the Porcelain God!

Cops are people too!

Wed, 14 Jan 2009 16:54:05 +0000

I was at a party with my wife only about a mile from our house. I was drinking it up and she was taking it easy, getting more and more irritated with my drunkenness, she finally left with her friend and I continued. About one something I thought I should get going, the thought of walking wasn’t too appealing so I drove, after all it was only a mile. Two or three blocks from my house I see the dreaded blue and red lights and I pull over hoping this cop is going to give me a break since my house is so close. He walks up with his hand on his gun and says “I can smell alcohol from here you’re not going to tell me you weren’t drinking, give me you license and registration” I was getting more dizzy by the moment and I guess the quick turn was all I could handle and I just let loose bluaer! all over my license, my hand, and the cop’s hand, I leaned more out the window and kept going on his feet. He shouted “fuck” at least three times, I thought I was a goner he was just starring at me then out of nowhere he let loose right into my car and my lap,it was everywhere I couldn’t help it I puked again into my dashboard, my puke and the cops puke was mixed and all over me and my car. I just sat in it and starred at my dash board, I don’t know if I dosed off or what but when I looked back up the cop was driving off, he let me go, maybe he was embarrassed, maybe he was sickened I don’t know. I locked up my car and walked home. The next day I paid almost three hundred for a normally fifty dollar car detailing…ha ha I didn’t even get to see how it looked.

Were you going to drink that?

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 14:03:27 +0000

I don’t usually go out to drink, normally I have a few friends over and we sit around telling stories over some beers. I was invited to a local bar one Friday evening and thought that a change “might” be nice and opted to go. The night started off great, drinks, dancing, friends, what more could I ask for? Then I felt it…the overwhelming urge to puke! I began to look for the shortest route to the nearest bathroom and began what seemed like a mile hike to the bathroom! Just as I was approaching the entrance to my destination, it became clear to me that I was not going to make it. I quickly surveyed the area to determine where an available trash can was or if there was an open door or window nearby, to my dismay, there wasn’t! Just as I turned to run towards an open area, a very sober man had just purchased a nice cold draft beer and had turned in my direction as I began to run in his. We stopped short of hitting one and other but the jolt from the stop was the icing on the cake…I felt the vomit in my throat rising and could not stop it! Before I knew what had happened I hear a yell and a splash! Not only did I throw up all over this now repulsed man but in his nice, fresh, cold draft beer! Needless to say, I never went back there!!!

Hamper Pee

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 22:35:54 +0000

Went out drinking with a coupel of friends from out of town at a bar. We got wasted but were able to make it home okay. As soon as we got through the door she had to make a mad dash to the bathroom to go pee. So im a few steps behind her and when i get to the bathroom, she had accidentally lifted up the hamper and was peeing in there.

Next morning when i go to pick her up, she’s fighting with the manager that some maid came in while she was out and pissed all over her clothes. I had to tell her, it was her and i even showed her a pic i took off my phone.

What a bachelor party……

Beer Fiend — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 21:39:41 +0000

My soon-to-be-brother in law takes me out with a couple of his friends, and a buddy who is down from Atlanta……..

We got the limo……

We’re cruising our way up towards Tampa…….hitting every strip club we can find.

I knew it was going to be a bad night when at the first place we had already done 3 shots and we hadn’t even been approached by any of the dancers yet……

It was about this time that he crams about 30$ worth of 1′s in my shirt pocket and says…..’one by one….they must go before you can leave here’……

…..about 6-10 private dances later…..4-5 shots too……we leave……and are off to the next place……

I’m tanked

Never an liquor drinker….only beer……we’re doing BOTH…in mass!

After about the third place, me and my buddy from atlanta realize we’re going to die tonight……

One of my fondest memories of the night was leaning my head out the back door of the limo…and throwing up on top of the Skyway bridge as we were headed into Tampa.

I was GONE by the time we reached the other side of the bridge.

Yet we had to go to Mons Venus…..where my soon-to-be-brother-in-law (and soon to be divorced after my bachelor party), manages to hook-up with one of the strippers!

meanwhile…..back to my pathetic non-coherant existance…….I’m at the end of the stripper runway, head down on my forearms, facing the floor..throwing up in the place……yea….all the chics loved me……

The only other memory I have of that night was racing into some bathroom stall where David, my buddy from Atl….and I BOTH were standing up at urinals vomiting profusely trying to just stand……

To this day…..I just stick to beer….